Is it ok to tell my five year old child I don't want him playing with certain kids?
Question: My five year old recently came back with a report card with all n's (needs improvement) regarding his behavior at school. I was told he at times is disruptive to the class. I was so distraught over this that in addition to setting up a meeting with the teacher, I also told him I no longer wanted him playing with certain children that I know are behavior problems in class. The next day he went to school and at lunch time when sat next to one of these children he informed the teacher of what I had said and he was moved. The child cried. I had sent a note going on and on about how important it was to maintain my sons confidence and that I did not want him to think that he was the bad kid in class. Yet I feel through my poor judgement that I destroyed another child's confidence. This child is always in trouble. But he is still a child of only five. To further complicate matters my son is white and this child is black. My son is the minority at his school.
Answers: OK I understand where you are coming from except the last part about color. That has nothing to do with your son having problems in class. He is old enough to understand that if he doesn't stop doing what he does then he can't be with his friend. You shouldn't take away his friends as the first step of punishment. You should give him the ultimatum.
Your primary concern should be for your child's wellbeing. If other children are bad influences on your son, you have a duty, not just a right, to make sure they are not together. There is no way that having your child cut off contact with this child will cause any type of permanent damage, so don't worry about that. Any problems he has cannot be fixed by you, as much as you may want to. You did the right thing, and hopefully you can turn his behavior around.
This is a touchy subject! I have encountered this before and I did what you did. I told my child that he MUST be nice to the other child but to no longer sit with him at lunch, playground, etc. In a large group is fine but one on one is a definite NO!! You have to teach your children to stay away from trouble in life and it begins now. Even more importantly, is doing it tastefully and tactfully. It sounds like you are doing a fine job in getting this across. Good luck!
Well yea! Are you his parent,? then that's your job. Who else is going to instruct him in these things? Also, plan to move, you'll never win at this. Good Luck
Yah sure, he's only five, you can tell him to do wateva u want, its not like he's a teenager.
Answers: OK I understand where you are coming from except the last part about color. That has nothing to do with your son having problems in class. He is old enough to understand that if he doesn't stop doing what he does then he can't be with his friend. You shouldn't take away his friends as the first step of punishment. You should give him the ultimatum.
Your primary concern should be for your child's wellbeing. If other children are bad influences on your son, you have a duty, not just a right, to make sure they are not together. There is no way that having your child cut off contact with this child will cause any type of permanent damage, so don't worry about that. Any problems he has cannot be fixed by you, as much as you may want to. You did the right thing, and hopefully you can turn his behavior around.
This is a touchy subject! I have encountered this before and I did what you did. I told my child that he MUST be nice to the other child but to no longer sit with him at lunch, playground, etc. In a large group is fine but one on one is a definite NO!! You have to teach your children to stay away from trouble in life and it begins now. Even more importantly, is doing it tastefully and tactfully. It sounds like you are doing a fine job in getting this across. Good luck!
Well yea! Are you his parent,? then that's your job. Who else is going to instruct him in these things? Also, plan to move, you'll never win at this. Good Luck
Yah sure, he's only five, you can tell him to do wateva u want, its not like he's a teenager.
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